The information being shared in this article will make more sense
to you if you read the previous article entitled Is finding new
friends easy?
The next step in meeting people and making friends is most crucial.
You have begun meeting people, actually, you do see a lot of people
with your common interests all around you. Probably, each of them is
a potential future friend. But, now the task is upon you to approach
them. You have to break the ice with them, so to speak.
This is a difficult job, more so when you consider that the first
impression is the only impression that matters. If you set out on a
wrong foot, it isn’t going to go well.
Be relaxed. First of all, don’t take this so seriously. Think about
what happens if your friendship does strike a chord. You are going to
share the most intimate details with each other, probably. You are
going to be very comfortable hanging out with each other. Picture that
in your mind. Now, that makes you much more confident about meeting
this person, doesn’t it?
First of all, don’t approach the person at the wrong time. If you see
them doing something else, it’s not the right time. However, if they are
waiting alone, or, even if they are with a group of friends that they
are comfortable with, it could be a good time to approach them.
Be very, very casual. Don’t pretend to do anything, just be what you
are. Ask if you can join them first, and you will be most likely
invited. Don’t plan on any speech in advance. Let it just flow. The
best way to open a conversation is to give just one casual comment
about what’s happening. “The class went too long, didn’t it?”, “It’s a
good time of the year, I think”, “Did you agree with that?”, etc. are
good openers. Don’t begin with impertinent questions like, “Why are
you here?” and “Who are you waiting for?” Be tactful. Be general.
Don’t speak about yourself too much.
This question is just a feeler. When you ask your initial question,
the person will most likely respond, but it is the weight of the
answer that should be your deciding factor. Is the answer short,
almost to the point of snappy? That means the person doesn’t
appreciate your presence. Move elsewhere. Is the answer friendly, but
not interested? That means the person has something else in their mind
rather than talking with you now. Politely excuse yourself
and wait for another opportunity. Is the person very enthusiastic
about you being there and gives you a very detailed answer, asking
some questions of their own? You have it made then, indulge in great
conversation with them.
When you meet a new person, your nervousness lasts just one question.
Once you have made your initial comment, the response sets you
immediately at ease, whether it is positive or negative. If it is
positive, you become more comfortable speaking with that person and if
it is negative, you can easily excuse yourself and look for friends
elsewhere. Hence, it is no big deal really. Breaking the ice is not
much of a problem.
